IF YOU BURY A FAT GUY
IN ESPECIALLY ALKALINE DIRT
HE TURNS TO SOAP


SOAP!

T,O,U,C,H,I,N,G
PAUL SHARITS 1969

PAUL SHARITS

RIDE THE DRAGON TOWARD THE CRIMSON EYE
FLAP THE WINGS UNDER MARS RED SKY
THE REPTILE PUSHES ITSELF OUT INTO SPACE
LEAVING BEHIND THE HUMAN RACE

SWIM INSIDE THE SOLAR SEAS
THE NEBULA CRIES OUT TO ME
PASSING WHERE I'VE NEVER GONE BEFORE
I FLY THROUGH THE CRIMSON DOOR

RIDE THE DRAGON TOWARD THE CRIMSON EYE
FLAP THE WINGS UNDER MARS RED SKY

IGNORE DISCRETE MOLECULES, ENTHALPY, AND ENTROPY RESPECTIVELY

THERE NEVER REALLY IS A GOOD TIME
THERE'S ALWAYS NOTHING MUCH TO SAY
PRETTY GOOD, NOT DOING THAT FINE
GETTING UP MOST EVERY DAY

SEND THE MOON THRU THE SKYLIGHT
BELLS TOGETHER OUTRAGEOUSLY
NOISEBALL, FLIRTATIOUS EXAMPLE
BLESS HER SOUL TO FURTHER DEGREE

THEATRE GODDESS, FILM DESTROYER
NEW YORK GIRLS ARE SURE TO ENJOY HER
FUZZY PEACH, TEENAGE COMPUTER
A SHOCKING FIGURE IN THE EYE OF THE UNIVERSE

I AM DEAD BY THE BEAUTY OF STRANGERS
IN HORROR MY EYE-HEAD TRANSFORMS THEM
INTO SMILING, BEATIFIC ROOM MATES
FROM DUST TO DUST THEY CREATE ROCK N ROLL

HERE COMES SOMETHING: YOU ARE LOU REED
TRANSFORMER CRACKED BY THE BACKYARD STREAM
KILLER TUNES, BUBBLEGUM DISASTER
RADICAL ADULTS LICK GODHEAD STYLE

American planes, full of holes and wounded men and corpeses took off backwards from an airfield in England. Over France, a few German fighter planes flew at them backwards, sucked bullets and shell fragments from some of the planes and crewmen. They did the same for wrecked American bombers on the ground, and those planes flew up backwards to joine the formation.

The formation flew backwards over a German city that was in flames. The bombers opened their bomb bay doors, exerted a miraculous magnetism which shrunk the fires, gathered them into cylindrical steel containers, and lifted the containers into the bellies of the planes. The containers were stored neatly in racks. The Germans below had miraculous devices of their own, which were long steel tubes. They used them to suck more fragments from the crewmen and planes. But there were still a few wounded Americans, though, and some of the bombers were in bad repair. Over France, though, German fighters came up again, made everything and everybody as good as new.

When the bombers got back to their base, the steel cylinders were taken from the racks and shipped back to the United States of America, where factories were operating night and day, dismantling the cylinders, separating the dangerous contents into minerals. Touchingly, it was mainly women who did this work. The minerals were then shipped to specialists in remote areas. It was their business to put them into the ground, to hide them cleverly, so they would never hurt anybody ever again.

VONNEGUT 1969

ORGANIZED MOLECULAR COLLISION CEREMONY
BOW DOWN
ORGANIZED MOLECULAR COLLISION CEREMONY
LIFT UP
ORGANIZED MOLECULAR COLLISION CEREMONY
BOW DOWN
ORGANIZED MOLECULAR COLLISION CEREMONY
LIFT UP

APRIL
APRIL
APRIL
1972
1972
1972

THE MOON GOES AROUND THE WORLD EVERY MONTH
AS THE MOON ORBITS IT SPINS JUST ENOUGH THAT
THE SAME SIDE IS ALWAYS FACING US

SYNCHRONUS ROTATION

WE ARE STUCK IN THIS UNIVERSE AREN'T WE
WE AREN'T GETTING OUT OF THIS GALAXY
YOU AND I AREN'T LEAVING EARTH
BUT WE CAN
EXPLORE MINDS
EXPLORE MINDS
EXPLORE MINDS

TIME IS THE NEXT BIG THING

ITS GETTING MORE POPULAR

TIME IS GETTING BIGGER THAN EVER
TIME IS GETTING BIGGER THAN EVER
TIME IS GETTING BIGGER THAN EVER

I DREW THIS A LONG TIME AGO FOR JAKE. I DONT REMEMBER WHY I WAS DRAWING HIM THE DEATH STAR, BUT I AM FINALLY GETTING AROUND TO SENDING IT TO HIM. MAYBE IT'S A HOUSEWARMING GIFT. MAN, THOSE ARE SOME SICK QUOTES FROM OBI WAN AND DARTH!

WIND
WIND
WIND

MIND
MIND
MIND

GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS

LONGEST MEASURED TIME DILATION



IN OCTOBER 1971, FOUR CESIUM ATOMIC CLOCKS WERE FLOWN AROUND THE WORLD AFTER BEING SYNCHRONIZED WITH REFERENCE CLOCKS AT THE U.S. NAVAL OBSERVATORY, WASHINGTON, D.C., U.S.A., IN ORDER TO MEASURE THE EFFECTS PREDICTED BY EINSTEIN'S THEORY OF SPECIAL RELATIVITY. WHEN FLOWN WESTWARD THE CLOCKS GAINED 273 +/-7 NANOSECONDS. WHEN FLOWN EASTWARD THE CLOCKS GAINED 59 +/-10 NANOSECONDS. THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWO OWING TO THE EARTH'S ROTATION.

LONGEST MEASURED
TIME DILATION
LONGEST MEASURED
TIME DILATION
LONGEST MEASURED
TIME DILATION

AS SPACE GRINDS SILENTLY
EVENTS ARE TABULATED
AS FLASHES FROM WHITE DWARVES
AND FLARES AT WINTERS DAWN

IN SPACE TECTONICS
WHEN THE BLACK PLATES
GRIND GROWL AND GROW
THE SPACE FLOOR SPREADS
AND EMPTY MOUNTAINS CLIMB



SPACE DIVORCE
SPACE DIVORCE
SPACIAL DISTORTION
SPACIAL DISTORTION
COSMIC SINGULARITIES
COSMIC SINGULARITIES
CERTAIN ASYMPTOPES
CERTAIN ASYMPTOPES
LESSER DUALITIES
LESSER DUALITIES
COLOR ANOMALY
COLOR ANOMALY